In most families, sibling jealousy shows up at some point. While it might look like simple bickering or playful rivalry, these behaviors often hide deeper feelings—like fear of losing parental affection or not feeling seen. Far from being an unsolvable problem, these kinds of conflicts can actually be addressed in a positive and healthy way, especially with the guidance of a mental health professional.
What’s behind sibling jealousy?
Jealousy can arise when a child perceives that their sibling is receiving more attention, love, or praise. This doesn’t necessarily mean there is favoritism from the parents, but what truly matters is how the child experiences it. A new baby in the family, repeated praise for one child, or even subtle differences in how parents interact with each child can be perceived as unfair.
Common triggers include:
- Constant comparisons between siblings.
- Rewards or praise given to only one child.
- Differences in parenting styles.
- Competition for emotional attention.
How does jealousy manifest?
Jealousy isn’t always expressed in words. Often, it shows through behavior: frequent arguments, teasing, aggression, or regressive behaviors like acting younger than their age. Emotional symptoms may also appear—sadness, insecurity, withdrawal, or low self-esteem.
Psychological therapy as a support tool
When jealousy starts affecting a child’s emotional wellbeing or disrupts family harmony, seeking help from a child or family psychologist can be incredibly helpful. The goal isn’t to eliminate jealousy completely (because it’s a natural emotion), but to help children understand and manage it in a healthier way.
Effective therapeutic approaches include:
- Family systems therapy – explores the family’s dynamics to identify patterns that may be fueling conflict and offers strategies to shift them.
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) – helps the child recognize distorted thoughts (“my parents love my sibling more”) and replace them with healthier thinking.
- Play therapy – ideal for younger children who struggle to express their emotions verbally.
- Parental guidance and coaching – equips caregivers with tools to manage sibling conflict without reinforcing rivalry.
Practical tips for parents
Parents play a central role. While jealousy can’t always be prevented, a family environment that promotes empathy and emotional understanding can greatly reduce its impact.
Some useful strategies include:
- Avoid comparing your children—even with positive intentions.
- Spend one-on-one quality time with each child.
- Celebrate each child’s unique qualities without labeling.
- Teach conflict resolution in a calm and respectful manner.
- Validate each child’s feelings without judgment or dismissal.
Conclusion
Sibling jealousy isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong—it’s a natural part of family life and child development. But it also presents an opportunity: to teach emotional intelligence, empathy, and respectful relationships. By listening to our children, supporting them, and—when necessary—seeking professional help, we can turn rivalry into connection and build stronger, healthier sibling bonds.