We live in fascinating and paradoxical times. While birth rates plummet across many Western societies and “not having kids” becomes a normalized life choice, there’s a growing phenomenon that just a few decades ago might have seemed eccentric: people channeling their desire to care and nurture into their pets. This cultural shift is not merely anecdotal; it’s been the subject of research in the journal European Psychologist, which highlights how many individuals have begun to “humanize” their pets, treating them almost like their own children.
Shifting the Instinct to Nurture: From Children to Animals
One of the most striking aspects noted by the article in European Psychologist is how the instinct to nurture, traditionally directed toward human offspring, is now being transferred to pets—especially dogs and cats. This process has several roots:
- Demographic: birth rates are at historic lows in many European countries. Couples choose to delay or even forego having children.
- Economic: raising children is expensive, housing is often small, and job security is fragile, leading many to rethink family planning.
- Psychological and social: there’s a pursuit of personal independence, a fear of losing freedom, and a prioritization of individual projects.
But the human need to care does not simply vanish. According to evolutionary psychologists, the impulse to tend to vulnerable beings is embedded in our biology. Thus, in the absence of children, many—often unconsciously—redirect this desire toward their pets.
The “Pet Parenting” Phenomenon
What once meant having a dog to guard the house or a cat to catch mice has now evolved into what English-speaking media call “pet parenting.” This goes far beyond ordinary affection: it involves throwing birthday parties with special cakes, dressing animals in outfits, booking pet daycare or spa sessions, and dedicating substantial emotional and financial resources to their well-being.
According to findings discussed in European Psychologist, more and more people:
- Refer to their pets as “my children” or “my babies.”
- Call themselves the animal’s “mom” or “dad.”
- Create family rituals centered on the care of their dog or cat.
Today, in many European homes, pets occupy the symbolic (and emotional) space once reserved almost exclusively for children.
Emotional Motivations Behind This Trend
Why is this happening? The article explains that it’s not just a social or economic issue, but deeply emotional. Some of the highlighted motivations include:
- Fulfilling the need for bonding: caring for another being—even a dog or cat—activates neural circuits similar to those engaged with children. Oxytocin and dopamine, hormones linked to attachment and pleasure, are released.
- Lower emotional risk: some adults feel that raising kids carries high levels of uncertainty and responsibility, whereas with pets they perceive a simpler, unconditional, and more predictable bond.
- Extending a life stage: many young couples or singles enjoy a “family-like” experience with their pets without committing to human parenthood.
- Repairing emotional gaps: for some, having a creature to lavish love upon helps compensate for insecure attachment histories or feelings of loneliness.
Cultural Changes: From “Having Children” to “Having Pets”
This shift is also fueled by the changing status of animals in our societies. Whereas a dog once slept in the yard, it now often sleeps in the owner’s bed. Whereas a cat once roamed the farm hunting, it now enjoys elaborate scratch posts and shelves built solely for its delight.
The European Psychologist article underscores that this cultural transformation not only changes how we live with animals, but also the very meaning of “family.” In many households, a dog or cat is not “just another pet,” but a member of the core family. This is evident in:
- Wills that include inheritances for pets.
- Family portraits with pets front and center.
- Trips planned specifically so the dog or cat enjoys as much as the owners.
Are There Psychological Implications?
Most experts see nothing inherently wrong with projecting caregiving needs onto an animal. In fact, taking care of a pet can offer enormous benefits: it reduces loneliness, lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), and boosts subjective well-being.
However, the article also warns that there can be cases of “over-identification.” Some people treat their dog literally as if it were a child, to the point of avoiding social life or projecting human anxieties onto the animal. This can create issues both for the owner and for the pet, who neither understands nor needs to be treated like a small human.
The Ethical and Social Debate
This phenomenon raises fascinating questions. Are we truly replacing children with animals? Or are we simply adapting our capacities for love and care into new forms of family?
In a way, culture evolves faster than our biology. We still need to give and receive affection, to care and to feel responsible for another’s well-being. The rise of pets-as-children shows just how much society adapts to continue satisfying these deep needs, albeit in a completely different context from our grandparents’ era.
Conclusion: A Mirror of Our Transformations
The European Psychologist article does not judge this trend, but rather describes it as a mirror of cultural, demographic, and emotional transformations in our societies. Today, the sight of a dog in a birthday costume or a cat with its own social media account says as much about our economies as it does about our psychology.
And perhaps, at its core, this entire shift reveals something deeply human: we still need to care and to feel responsible for the well-being of others. Even if instead of changing diapers, we now carry little bags to pick up poop at the park.